.

Neither forgiven nor forgotten.

2012-02-09T01:49:00.002+09:00

I should post this title on the ''What's on your mind?'' space just now. After think about it twice, it is better to make a blog post rather to post it on my wall. I can explain details. Whats the situation that I was facing right now, the condition and all.

I am not good in English, apologise for any grammatical errors come in the first place.

I should not publish my privacy, my personal stories to the public. If you come and ask me, I will try my best to treat you with the story. But for selected persons only.

I am fine. Well and not in any serious pain.

For those who shows me your concern, thanks a lot.
For those who lend me your ears to listen to my stories, thank you.
For those who give me a moral support, nice words and all, thank you.
Especially one who named KSR. :)
You know who you are :D

For those who leaves scars and pain inside my soul, no words did matched you well except for ;
what you give, you will get back :)
For those who give me the SHIT words, thanks also, it makes me much much stronger than the previous me.
You know who you are :D

Thanks people .

Lubricant oil that helps me to drift smoothly to reach my destination.

One, who gives me the word ''strength'' and put it back to its usual place, to get back up,
one and only one,
Allah swt.
THANKS to HIM.

Dosa semalam.

2012-02-06T12:05:00.000+09:00

Andai ini cara yang terakhir mampu aku buat.

Tolong maafkan saya atas dosa semalam.
Di luar jangkaan. Tujuan di hati tak lain hanyalah ingin mengupdate kaspersky yang dah berkurun, apa jadinya pun saya taktahu, tapi saya sendiri pun tak sangka perkara ni boleh berlaku.

Atas dasar nafsu dan memang unpredictable, saya nak mengonlinekan fb yang dah berminggu teroffline. and saya sangat sangat tak sangka account facebook awak yang saya dapat. Saya dah pujuk hati jangan baca segala apa hak privacy awak. Tapi memang =.........................='' saya terbaca.

Satu perkara yang saya cuba elak. Marah dan ungkit kisah silam. Tapi memang saya dah tak boleh kawal apa yang saya cuba kawal, saya hantar sms yang memang saya akan buat bila saya marah -,-'' silly me.

Tak fikir dulu sebelum buat. Typically me.

Sekarang, nasi dah jadi bubur. Bubur tu pun kalau bagi kat ayam, ayam taknak makan, kucing pun jeling je.

Saya cuba yang terbaik untuk perbetulkan kesalahan. Tak tahu lah sama ada saya ni macam tikus baiki labu.
Saya skip kelas renang, telan panadol untuk tidur, saya tak boleh fokus.

Saya cuba hafal surah al-ra'd ayat 39. Nak mintak heal sikit kat dalam jiwa yang dah sedia berkecamuk.

Tapi saya tetap tergoda dengan syaitan. Saya terlampau ikut nafsu. Maaf sangat sangat.

Kalau ada satu perkataan sebelum awak tinggalkan saya,
saya nak cakap, I'm sorry.
Saya tak tahu macam mana nak perbetulkan keadaan. Maaf.

Siblings V. Strangers

2012-01-26T13:44:00.001+09:00

At the time I click at this post body, I have a few points to write, and when I begin my writing, they lost to nowhere, that I do not afford to grab it back.

I am the last one in my family, out of five siblings. Two sistas and two bros.

I do not ask for adik. but sometimes I miss to become a sister to my little ones.

I have four seniors, to teach me what life is all about, to fight on, to do the real thing, and all.

We are closed , so close that no one can separate us apart.

It was like the particles that form the bonds between the water molecules. But it was ten years ago.

When everyone was not into any money-hunter.

We grow old, and be strangers to each other.

Same goes to my big bro, I had never seen him for three years.

He will come back tomorrow after 3 years hunted for money.

First class graduated from Bristol. :)

Do I have to blame on money ?

or the attitude that we have should be blamed?

or parents mistake which's they forgot to instill something in their children?

or any opinion? =.='

Gelabah .

2012-01-01T08:13:00.004+09:00

Happy prosperous 2012 ! Have a blast !

em my new year's night was not soo cool. Still in a GELAABAH mode. I cant handle my emotion when I have to talk to someone, which is important to me.

Yeah, I rarely browsed and logged in myself to my Skype account. I just did it when it is considerable for me to do so. I mean, at the time I cant make any exceptional or excuse myself from doing it.
But last night, I logged in myself, and surprised a few people who were visible at 0116 morning.

and yeah, I have a short chitchat with my ex. My first love. We got into a special relationship when we were in form four. Yet immature for both to make any important decision. Thats the reason we broke up and split off then. But we are still, keep texting each other, but its only happens when there's an important issue to discuss.

hmm. We talked, we laughed. I can say I win the laughing part. I do not know why I am soo easy to laugh out loud. even things are not funny to be laughed. Maybe I had reached the excitement state kot semalam.

The best about him, he is so cool, he gives me a short advice, that I have to be a good person for 2012.
We will meet up one day. One day, before his flight to Japan. I will keep my words, my promise.

He made a vid call, and I guess this was the first time - since I keep my Skype account invisible for ages. The first time, he rang me, I was a bit gelabah. Do i have to decline rather than answer the call? GELABAH!
Typically me. haha, I had chose to pick up the call then.

He had a problem now. A problem that relates to love life story. I do not know how or what is the best way to advice him to solve his problem. You are unpredictable eqkhmal. We are totally different. You take the South route while I choose to be North. But still, you are always at the right position.

Chitchat ends at approximately 3. I got my sleepy eyes and get into my comfy bed then.
Yeah, my new year's night was not so cool,but it does not put me down to make my 2012's dreams come true!

2012 resolution :p

2011-12-31T22:21:00.005+09:00

Moi desire on a few stuffs and yeah wanna grab 'em in the year of two o one two. :)

# 1

more and more pairs of Modern Kurung :) canteksss

# 2

Leopard print accessories *wear it head-to-toe*

*the more attention-grabbing print*

# 3

flat shoes .

never really gone out of fashion :) and its comfy lahhh

# 4

A family trip to Sabah .

I will make it happen on 2012 June :) yeah .

# 5

Be a fashionable, up-to-date person,

yet following the aurat's rule at the first place.

# 6

CGPA - DONT have to re-sit any paper.

# 7

Be a better, motivated, strong MUSLIMAH

# 8

A friend in need is a friend in deed :)

Be a good and a hardworking person *really*

# 9

Less - reduce - no more

She no longer GOSSIPS and STALKS ! hee

# 10

is still in progress ...

Babai peeps!

2011 story line

2011-12-31T19:26:00.001+09:00

Zahirah and her mom (eldest sister)

She is my first niece. and I am now officially can be called as Chesu :)

A great bestie :)

My sweethearts :) My everything .

Teacher trainee. and I had passed my first semester for my foundation.

No one can spread us apart :D

Gopeng stories *matriculation phase* .

Picture was taken when we were celebrating Diamond Night Dinner for our houseroom.

This phase taught me a lot of lessons in LIFE .

This is one of the best moment *kot.

Alhamdulillah. Gimme time to improve myself and re-erase my mistakes :p

A fascinating view from my room, third floor, room no. : 401 - t'end of t'world!

Perlis is great, eventhough I hate of being here at the first place.

Next semester, second floor :) hehe . just beside the toilet.

and

I guess it is enough with a few pictures above :)

2011 - is history.

2012 - is mystery

hehe

Lets close the Daily Planner for 2011 with a wide grins.

Soon, I will update on my 2012 wishlist :)

One day before.

2011-12-31T00:58:00.000+09:00

Gambar potret 2011. muehehe :)

chillaks peeps!

Yesterday is history.

2011-12-27T22:22:00.003+09:00

I fall in love with a guy, who had affair with someone else at that time. I do not know the reason why.

Love is unpredictable. You may fall for someone who has been troubled you lot all this while.

And yes i was.

Mode : REPLAY

I failed my chemistry paper for my mid semester test. I remembered every second, the night when everyone was busy preparing for our last paper on the next day, while I was busy having chats with his ex.

His ex is one of my bestieS now. She is super duper great. She is friendly. She helped me a lot during my old days to get my life back and wake up from my 'sleep'. She treated me very nice. She cares about me till now.

Thank you. I know you are reading my story right now.

Like what I had mentioned before, I gave him everything but I got nothing in returns :)

This story shows me a lot of lessons in life and it leaves me a scar that cannot be healed or removed.

There is NO bio oil, or scar serum from garden of Eden that can treat and remove the scar.

This scar though gimme some benefits, it taught me to be strong, it taught me that everything yang melanggar perintah Allah takkan ke mana. Lastly, you come back and ask from Him a forgiveness.

I am sorry. I cannot mention the names of characters in my story, I am doing that for reason.

I went through my gloomy days, weeks and months of 2011, it starts from the first day of 2011.

It was not that easy. It is hard for me. It was the hardest part of my life.

The saying goes ; Its not how many times you fall that matters, it is how many times you get back up. and yes, to get back up is not easy. I have to repeat this, NOT EASY. I waste my tears on someone that does not deserve to.

Think back on how I was getting back up from my dream, hmmm .. it makes things a lil bit easier, when you put your parents at the top first, in simple they are #1 in your list.

I tried my best till my last effort.

''No one can prepare for what heights you will soar until you spread your wings''

And ALHAMDULLILAH. Allah gimme chance to get good result for my final for my matriculation.

And He also gimme chance to fulfill both my parents dream, which is getting into Maktab, and yeahhhh teacher wannabe!! hehe. Alhamdulillah. I am soooo grateful.

And he gimme chance to pass my first semester with flying colors. Alhamdulillah again :)

And he gimme chance making friends with a load of great people. I will not disappoint them again.
I promise!

and my saying ; who gossips with you will gossip of you. haha :D

Mode : PAUSE

I think I should continue my story on the next post :) Soon :)

Enough for now. Babai!

After a month and a few weeks ..

2011-12-26T21:58:00.006+09:00

Final semester break is coming to an end. I do not know either I should be happy or not.

I think most probably I should not be happy.

New term begins means my days on my new prosperous year begin.

LASTLY, after three hundred and sixty five days, *I should post this entry on my new year's night, but I can hardly wait to click on the button 'start' for 2012's game.* :2011 - there were a lot of things, stuffs, moments, memories and more that I had experienced. It was a great experience ever.

I can hardly write all those moments that had been written for me, but
I just can simply summarize it into a very short writing, just to replay it back.

2011 - is the heart broken year for me. My heart has been played, burned and broken but ALHAMDULILLAH after all, it still works. Stand still in its position. Gimme chance, and more chance, to heal it back, recombine back the pieces of it after being torn apart. ALHAMDULILLAH.

Allah has the best plan for me.

I do not have the ability to choose what is the best for me. But still, He chooses me, to be the chosen one to do a correction on my previous mistakes. Alhamdulillah.

I fall for someone who was not written to be my spouse.
I go for someone impatiently ;
I give him everything though he gives me nothing in return :') Life is superduper great.
I experienced that love is pain. Its truly hurts me. HURTS me.
To be together with a better person, you have to be a better person.

Lelaki yang baik untuk perempuan yang baik.

But do a muhasabah, think back, BAIK kah awak ?
Ask yourself and you should probably have the answer.

If the answer is NO, I think, it is not too late to change. There're a million of rooms to improve yourself.
Yup. BE YOURSELF. But can you be a better person of yourself ? Get that , girls?

This is what had happened to me now. I am in the motion of doing my improvements.

Allah gimme chance to improve myself. He blessed me with lottsaaaa nikmats.
I registered myself to become a teacher in future. That is one of His best nikmat.
Here, in PERLIS, there're a lot of rooms for me, more rooms to improve myself.
I have to be more patience with people. PATIENCE .

I have to treat people nicely though I got nothing in returns.

I have a lot more to write,
and I think I should continue my writing on the next post. InsyaAllah.

This is not the end of my story, see you soon :)

Next post : 2012 - Another 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8760 hours, 525600 minutes, 3153 600 seconds of struggle, progress, growth and experience :)

I feel like....

2011-12-23T19:38:00.006+09:00

I feel like I am all about of trying my hand on something new, which is sooo new for me but not for others.
hmm. GUESS what?

I wanna create and launch my own FB page,

and this is not a fan page, it is moooree to business page.

A place of interest for hijabies out there.

Yeah, for now, if you can see and browse, there are a lot, i can say a lot of people who were doing online business, enough with one click, and you can fill up your desire and make it happen with what you are dreaming for to wear,
and these people, they were selling their good products, mostly a bit different from what you can get through non-online shops.

If you can take the PRICE issue as for your consideration, the majority of the online shops were trading their products at a much higher price if compare to the normal price and if there is one and only thing that you can do (if you do not have enough money to grab all those stuffs) is shop-walking. ----------> You look at the products, impressed with the beauty of the products, scroll down for price, and also impressed with the price, and just leave the page as you cannot afford to grab these products.
Haha. The same as what I am doing, my daily routine! That is sooo true, right?

and if you are not satisfied with that, you will keep browsing to the same page, waiting for the first lucky person who really got the ability to grab those adorable products.

wait yaaaa!

Tired of what i am doing right now, though gimme an idea of creating my online shop and keep questioning myself why would not i try my hand on something which I was really keen on that?

The only thing that I can promise you from my first online shop is ,
you can shop as much as you want, and afford to,
and the products sold at a veryyyy lower price! haha

Soon, I will do a promotion on the stuffs from my online shops, which is forsure, my online shop is for ones who called themselves a fashionable-up-to-date person :) see you soon peeps!

Love, ezzah sobli <3

Apologise!

2011-12-16T17:32:00.000+09:00

I guess.

emm

I had promised you something, a stuff that i wanna reveal last night.

But something goes wrong yesterday,

so I think

...

I might have to keep this stuff till

I am totally dealing with it.

Apologise!

Its surprising me.. a bit.

2011-12-15T03:24:00.005+09:00

Yes it is.

For now, i am a bit surprised as i realised that

this lame, dusty, dull blog is still receiving a few number of visitors. Haha.

......

Whats the point you create a new post,
published a huge number of entries,

if you wanna keep your blog private, and receive selected readers only? haha.

Yeah for some people, they may have their own reasons why they are doing that.

Thank YOU readers for keep reading my blog :')

This is my free-flowing writing.

I do not copy from any source or article,

but you can highlight, copy or select any word that

you are pleased and feel so motivated with it

and paste it into yours.

I do not give a damn.

seriously

The only person who knows is me... and you. hehe

The shits information that i had shared was originally from my rusty mind :D

I cant pleased everyone to read,

No force.

I am neither Hana Tajima nor Maria Elena,

to keep updating with a new style.

I was born in a silver spoon, not the golden one,

so I do not afford to buy each and every inch cloth worn by any fashionable blogger.

I am me, this is the way i am.

Sometimes, i am sooo yesterday.

Oke. Stop making a sad sarcastic drama ezzah.

I have to go and sleep.

Oke peeps,

Nite! Mimpi Manieh!

I MISS HER!

2011-12-14T02:00:00.001+09:00

Nur Zahirah .

Whus this ? haha.

She is the Americans Next Top Model !

She can give you the best pose, she will never disappoint you

when you wanna take a photo of her :)

Whus this ?

She does not even know how to walk, or begins her first walk,

just because of her overweight body

and she is too lazy to practice how to make it happen!

haha

Sorry zahirah, cheshu is missing you!

I miss your embammm cheeks

omaigoshhh

and now

I can hardly wait

for

this chinese new year to come,

she will come back

to her hometown,

which is

BALIK KAMPUNG jumpa mashu dia :) hikhik.

2011-12-13T00:44:00.003+09:00

have

something

share

with

you guys!

Just wait .

Thursday midnight :

I will reveal everything!

hikhikhik

An awesome day for me .

2011-12-07T22:29:00.000+09:00

The Final Result has been announced few hours ago.

Yeah, everyone seems to be so curious to know about their achievement, they were willing to skip their lunch or brunch, waiting for their result.

Thanks Allah .

For giving me chance, to make both my parents proud with what I had got.

Thanks to those who prayed for my success.

Allah had answered our Doa.

I am soooo GRATEFUL.

I had passed my first semester with flying colors.

Lets close the story,

and

start with a new page,

a new chapter.

Tomorrow, my granny with uncles and aunties,

they will come back from Makah,

after they had been performed their Haj,

40 days passed.

and hopefully,

they got what we call it as Haj Mabrur.

Alhamdulillah again.

I cannot stop saying this.

Syukur.

I just love to read an entry with pictures .

2011-12-05T00:45:00.002+09:00

Here goes two stuffs that i had successfully grabbed last Friday :)
Lowest price yaa, but i can feel my money flows out from my purse, flies and leaves me alone... T.T

A pair of sandals from Swiss Polo

and

A RED watch

sorry iqa, for now, i choose red instead of violet.

Actually i have a few photos to be uploaded but , the connection does not allow me to do so.

It's loading and it takes a few minutes to be done uploaded for one picture. For simple, it takes a very longer time than before.

Oke thats all. For december wishlist.

Babai world :)

2011-12-04T23:55:00.001+09:00

It seems to be a very long break since my last entry about my doodling arts.
I keep practicing myself, using each and every tool in my doodle pad software and i hope i can be a pro-one someday. :)

Yeah. Time flies so fast, time has speed that can beat the record that has been made by Valentino Rossi, an Italian motorcycle racer, and yes, now, i have less than a month to spend my time with family and friends at home. ohmaigosh. =.= just a few weeks before i jump into a new term's world, my second semester.

But now, i am a bit worried about my achievement in my previous final. Do i have to resit for my music? I got no talent in this subject, especially when it comes to the theoretical part. It seems to be VERY hard for me to understand, to get and safely save the information in my mind. O' Allah, help me.

I pray for me and everyone's success. Just the prayer can help us. No matter what, I want to keep stay with my old classmates, no one was decent to be rejected from the list. I repeat, NO ONE.

We had done with the effort, the rest is tawakal. -I keep repeating this.

A very short update, i will continue again for tomorrow's update.
Babai world :)

For you, ikhlas. hee

2011-11-30T03:24:00.000+09:00

HEHE ilebiu :) by ezzah sobli

2011-11-30T02:33:00.000+09:00

Happy Birthday to YOU :D

2011-11-26T03:17:00.003+09:00

Read the title above, and yeah, you, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
A person that I first met on my first day in Maktab. haha

Entah tak tahu macam mana boleh kenal.

Tahu tahu hari ni birthday dia, HAHA.

Nasib baik la, jaga tempat letak kereta,

kalau tak, tak sempat nak kenal.

eh baju?

SELAMAT 21 Nur Iffat Haiqal Bin Mohd Zawawi :) :) :)

Doodle special ni,

sengaje buat pink, bagi nampak COMEL.

Pendek kan comel. HAHA.

Hehe, oke.

Sekian.

i have this for you ..

2011-11-23T16:35:00.001+09:00

currently addict

2011-11-21T14:29:00.001+09:00

Yeah, doodling around :)
I have downloaded my new doodle pad's software, and currently addict to use it :)

2011-11-15T23:56:00.001+09:00

DONE

with music.

This paper was going to drive my mind to hell just now.

But.

Just like what i had mentioned before,

its done,
the rest is tawakal.

I just pray that,

everything gonna be orite.

Tomorrow is an awesome day for me.

A perfect time to spend with beloved buddies.

A recreation site, somewhere close to Buket Ayer Hitam,

is the right place for us

to release

semua badi badi exam,

especially the Malay and the music.

EVERYTHING relate to these subjects.

WE WANT TO RELEASE THEM OUT.

More pictures to share soon.

...

no one is perfect.

just be yourself.

How much you try to get something,

if it is not for you, it will not become yours then.

Allah will answer your doa, He never say no.

.. just a matter of time dudes.

and i believe in this.

I have no one to listen to me,

but I have Him to listen to my doa.

2011-11-11T13:34:00.004+09:00

haloha peeps!

Just a very short update.

I have another two papers to be done.

This Tuesday, things gonna go back like normal.

ohmaigosh i cant wait, to treat myself with a lot of great-enjoyable things

that i had missed for a few weeks back.

Mathematics III and Musics.

Both have a great power to kill me.

After I had finished with Malay,

beloved Baba has made a call,

...

i am sorry ..

i just cant answer the call,

because

i do not want to share

how terrible the examination papers treat me on the last two days.

Everything will be alright soon. Just we need is TAWAKAL.

I had done with the effort, the rest is TAWAKAL.

Allah will always be with you in need of help. I believe in this.

If I do the countdown, i have another SEVEN days

to finish with the semester one stuff,

and after that

i will enjoy myself for about one and a half month at home!

2011-11-09T11:19:00.000+09:00

Today i will sit for my English paper, nothing more than i beg you to pray for my success. I want the A wrote on my slip, like desperately. I want to draw the happiest bewitching smile on my parents' faces.
I WANT IT!

English, PLEASE be nice to me.
Do not ask me the bullshits questions that i do not know how to answer them.
What i have done about the preparation is only on the grammar items.
I was freaking afraid when it comes to GRAMMAR.
I was writing my blog all this while by using my own GRAMMAR rules.
I do not even care what will people judge on my grammar. I do not give a damn on it.

and nah, now... it is time to show the right way to apply your grammar, but when u used to talk and speak and all , in a wrong way, u are going to do the same thing over again and again because u are used to it. Thats the fact.
I have to walk away from this habit. ha ha.

Wish me luck people.
Hope everything is going smoothly. No matter what.

love, ezzah sobli.

2011-11-05T01:51:00.001+09:00

I have no idea, why - when times get closer to the examination date,
my action and all my doings become slower. and s l o w e r . Its loading in simple.

I have to sit for my final next week, which will be on WEDNESDAY, for english papers.
on THURSDAY, for malay

On the next Monday, i have to sit for my music and math on the next day.
yeah. chillax!
If i failed any of these subjects,
i have to re-sit any of these before the KUASA BESAR
rejected my name out of the list for the second semester term .

I have to study. and stop doing the bullshits.

If i cant achieve the goals that had been set, i am not able to forgive myself.

oke. this is my short update.

i am okay. my love life is getting worst minutes by minutes.
i just pray that everything will be okay in the end, sooner or later does not a matter, but at least,
it will be all-right.

love, ezzah.

2011-11-05T01:31:00.001+09:00

NEXT WEEK .

HAVE

SIT

FOR

FINAL

...

DO PRAY

MAY

THE

GOODEST

LUCK

SMILES

Thanks.

kbye.

2011-10-27T22:42:00.002+09:00

Yeah.

i may become the person who does not appreciate people

when they are still with me.

But

would you mind

if i said

i may become the persons who kindly and dearly leave you

when you do not know the way to appreciate me

when i am still with you.

i am sorry.

Tentang hari itu.

2011-10-25T15:42:00.000+09:00

Semua sudah berlalu. HATI masih jua keliru. Setiap persoalan tidak jua mendapat jawapan.
Lebih menyesakkan akal.

Diri seolah hilang arah. Mana tujuan yang sahih ? Tidak henti bertanya. Tapi jawapan tetap sama.
Ambil keputusan untuk mendiamkan diri.
Berhenti sebentar. Persinggahan yang entah ke berapa. Untuk muhasabah kembali.

Di mana khilafnya diri ?

Benar. Ibrahim as terpaksa mengorbankan Ismail as,
kerana ujian Allah. Allah ingin menguji sayang seseorang kepada perhiasan dunia ; adakah lebih sayang kepadaNya?
Allah menghendaki Ibrahim as menyembelih cintanya kepada Ismail as kerana tiada cinta yang mampu menandingi cinta kepada Allah swt.

Sejauh mana cintaku kepadaNya?

Perjalanan, mencari siapakah aku. Bermulanya perjalanan bila sedar, banyak khilafnya diri , dikaburi oleh perhiasan dunia.
Biarlah masa yang menentukan segalanya.

Ya Allah, ya Rahman ya Rahim, dekatlah cintaku dengan cintaMu.
Kenalkanlah aku dengan cintaMu.
Kuatkan imanku dalam setiap saat menghadapi setiap ujian yang Engkau datangkan kepadaku.

Kerana aku tahu hinanya aku disisiMu.

senda semalam

2011-10-08T23:05:00.002+09:00

I dedicate this post in Malay, my language.

A big apologise to those who cant read this post with a very clear meaning.

Pernah terbaca tak satu status,

tak ada cinta yang halal sebelum terlafaznya akad?

Pernah jugak tak dengar,

kalau jaga diri kita baik baik, Allah akan tetapkan satu jodoh terbaik untuk kita.

Kita mampu merancang, Dia yang akan menentukan segalanya. Dia tentukan yang terbaik.

Hati sedih kerana kehilangan.

Cuba renung sebentar, pernah tak setiap apa yang ditakdirkan kepada kita, sampai ke sudah menyeksa kita?

Tidak kan? The last point, kita akan jumpa satu hikmah. Indahnya hikmah yang Allah selitkan di sebalik setiap ujian itu kan.

Dalam rahim ibu, ketika janin berusia 4 bulan, Allah sudah tetapkan, jodoh dan ajal.

Cepat atau lambat. Itu sahaja.

Tipu kalau setiap ujian yang Allah berikan kepada kita, iman kita tak tergugat.

Sedih. Sudah pasti.

Kalau sedih, cuba mengadu pada Allah.

Di sebalik kesukaran, ada Dia selitkan jalan penyelesaian.

Dia maha permudahkan setiap amalan kita.

Jika hambaKu bertanya tentangKu, katakanlah sesungguhnya Aku ini dekat.

:')

2011-09-24T09:23:00.000+09:00

a bored common weekend

I have nothing to do.

my roomie with the other two members

they go out for jog and

i prefer to stay at room

just busy doing nothing.

FB is using a very new term, tools and everything.

dearest Mark, it really takes time for everyone

to get used with your new gelabah ideas.

This weekend,

another three assignments to be done.

I had done with about four to six assignments.

not so perfect works in simple.

But as long as i had done with them,

i do not give a damn of worries on it.

i have no plan to go out.

as my trip to Alor Setar becomes the last vacation

of me and him.

No more.

I ruined everything.

I just give up.

Give up when i am fully ready to begin a new journey,

to become a new me.

Freaking afraid of becoming the old me :

i left everything behind, willing to do anything, sacrificed a lot of significant things,

just for a guy

that do not

appreciate

me.

I just have the sense

that

will treat me

the same as

the previous guy

did

to me.

I have no tears.

I have no feeling.

Can i put a fullstop to this story?

i am so sorry.

Experience taught me to be strong.

you know who you are.

2011-09-20T07:16:00.000+09:00

I just cant speak the truth.

This is me.

You and me .

both are in two different worlds .

You are in your strange common world.

and me in my own created world.

you found me.

you grab me

and put me into your world.

and now it is time for me to leave.

Leaving when your world does not suit me well.

i was bored. and i am sorry.

This is not me

2011-09-11T09:16:00.000+09:00

Less than 24 hours ago
I had cried . on a very silly stupid thing .
"Strong" is no longer mine.

I have no choice. I have no reason.
I had forgot that I have God beside me, in need of help, He is always be there.
Alhamdulillah.

I cried.
I forgot that i am a strong girl .
I forgot to give a fake smile when people put me in a very difficult situation.
I forgot that He is always be there, He decides what is the best for me.

Forgetting things.

I am sorry.

If you are the one that Allah gives to guide me ,
i am no one to put the answer no .

eeeee yarkkksss smell

2011-09-03T14:21:00.001+09:00

I cant go with these few things like seriously HAHA I do not know why.
Not because i am so choosy but
i JUST cant stand with these eeee yarksss thigy.

- Bau orang sendawa . Holy craps! if you did this in front of me.
- Bau orang kentut . Above all when someone did it is in a hideous way. I mean kentut senyap senyap
- Bau badan. Go and get the cheapest deodorant maa. Just a few ringgit ony.
- Bau baju tak basuh.
- Bau kaki lepas buka kasut
- Bau makanan basi

a short update. babai world.

2011-08-30T22:02:00.001+09:00

Hari Raya Aidilfitri.

This hari raya is different if i compare it to the previous raya.

I enjoyed every single second that i have with my parents, siblings and relatives.

Nasi himpit with kuah kacang,

nasi ayam with great sambal,

nasi minyak with superb ayam tomato

and mom's cook : nasi beriani gammm :)

wah :D everything's totally perfect :D :D

mood : p ramlee * dendang perantau

my short listed plan on the next raya's days

shops as much hijab as i afford

and

shops .. shops .. shopss ... heee :D

to be continue ..

i'm coming home babeh

2011-08-28T01:00:00.002+09:00

Yeah. It was like a dream.
I am now safely landed on Kelantan's land. Haha. My born-bred state.
My home sweet home. My everything.

Last two months, Zahirah (my niece) came back to KL. I made my journey to Behor Pulai.
I got two offers, one was heading to Shah Alam, and the other was, where i choose to be right now,
I choose to stay in BP till i had successfully graduated, and it is not an easy way to click the REJECT button to an offer which i was really keen on,
and the last one, i had passed through a very difficult though a very complex moment in my life; two months in Perlis. To be honest, i hate perlis. The weather. The shopping complex. The banking system. Everything.
It is not as perfect as Kelantan did. Too honest eh? I am sorry.

Never mind.
Five years to pass through. A veryyy long way to go.

A few to-do list to be done ;
- to eat as much cookies as i can
- to enjoy home made nasi arab
- to shop as much hijab as i afford
- to enjoy gcb with sista
- to make a great record for angry bird's game
- to enjoy doing short coursework
- to update my Malay movies list
- to download latest songs
- to fully perform solat berjemaah five times a day
to be continue ..

* i will try to make a short daily update as the connection is great if compare to college's.
babai world! nonite everyone!

Puasa.

2011-08-21T11:18:00.003+09:00

Now, i am counting for every single second to flow as fast as it can. I miss my home SO BADLY.

Kelantan, to be more exact, Kampung Pulau Belanga is the only place i can find the calmness and peace that i have lost, back in Behor Pulai.
I miss two significant moments when i was at home,
first when i have to get ready to break my fast and wait for the azan and the other one is when i have to unwrap my blanket, wake up for sahur. I miss those two moments. The real part is ; i miss my mom's cook.
I wanna eat rice with various types of dishes; without thinking how much it cost and how much i have to spend on this and this. haiihh.

Last Wednesday, I grab the golden chance to do that, and i had managed it very well. The experiences were superb by word. The story begins when one of my classmates invited me and the rest to break fast at her place, and we would never say no for this golden invitation. I ate a lot, and same goes to the others. hehe

I miss my home in simple.

If i do the countdown; it is less than a week. I hate doing the day-or-hours countdown like seriously.
Let everything flows and moves naturally. haha.

and yesterday, i made a visit to 3 malls in Alor Setar. The real Shopping Time! haha
I shop a lot, and i spend a lot on Baju Kurung. haha.

Nothing more to write, and i have to stop here.
Babai world!

Miracle.

2011-08-09T15:55:00.001+09:00

I wake up early this morning, the reason is not only for sahur. It was approximately 4.30 am.

Since last night, my hostel or to be more exact, my ipg was lacked of water. We do not have water supply to survive. Yes, no water for shower, for drinks, for everything in simple.

It is hard.

After water-lacking, blackout problem comes. One by one. So perfect by words.

No currents and no water. No words can describe them more perfectly than tears.

Yes, i cried. What if i have to stay in the same situation for the next three days?

It is hard. It is difficult. I kept praying.

Allahummayassir. wala tua'ssir.

Allah does not burden us with the ujian that we are not able to carry it on.

A few hours later, the minutes i used to post this entry, blackout problem ends.

Water supply works.

No words is better than Alhamdulillah.

Thank you Allah.

09082011.

we are looking at the same moon isnt

2011-08-06T03:51:00.001+09:00

Yes. we are.

It is a mistake.

2011-07-30T12:32:00.003+09:00

Reverse. If only i have the ability to reverse everything, back to what i want it to, hmm :( :(
but it seems to be soo impossible.
Regret ? Yes i am. Silly me. Doing things without considering them first.

Sorry. if i was bored with what you are doing right now.
Sorry, if i am not soo perfect to love you.
Sorry again. Allah determines all, he knows and he decides everything.
I was feared of the fact that at last we are not mean to be together.

Doa.
Yes. Prayer. It can connect us to the Creator.

He can listen to me. He knows.

To him. iloveyou.

This is where i begin.

2011-07-24T09:46:00.000+09:00

If only u can do a calculation on my assignment and tasks here, i can say it will drive you to a craziness state.
English ass-ingments are sucks. Totally sucks. I do not know why.
I should not have time to update this blog, but for the reason i got a silly and dull task, it gives me much much more than enough time to post this entry.

People do not understand me. For some, they do.
The complexity of my feeling, emotion and thinking, for sometime i am disable to understand myself too.
hm. I do not get my real mood to touch or give a comment on this part. Forget it.

Different places give different experiences.
I will try to do my best here.

Bai bai.

and to him , *the one who knows, knows* : thanks a lot.
i do not know how to express my deepest thanks, but thanks a lot.
May Allah blessings you with what you are dreaming and looking for. :) ameen.

Tok jogho.

2011-07-15T15:36:00.001+09:00

Haha for some of you may not understand whats the title actually means.
Tok jogho means someone, one of the dikir barat's teammate, who sings a song in this group,
he makes the dikir barat a lil bit more interesting.

I am a kelantanese born and bred.
Trust me. I can speak Kelantanese very fluently.
I do not have blood-mixer-machine in my body, to mix blood from Pahang or Perak.

I can speak both : English (so-so) and Kelantanese Malay.
I can speak English for the reason my keen is on changing people's first perception on Kelantanese; which they cannot speak English as fluent as KL-ians did. haha but now, i can prove my own values to them ;)
BIG GRINS TO MYSELF :) I ignore my grammar errors.haha to all English teachers out there, i am soorrry. haha.

oke. i have nothing to do. Thats the reason i post this entry.

nowhere.

2011-07-15T15:06:00.003+09:00

After having lunch with my roomie, I think i should post something on this dull blog.

These are a few current facts about me :

No more ponteng on my daily schedule. This is great !!
I wake up at 6.15 every morning. This is soo great !!

I do not waste much money on useless things and stuff. Saving please!
I change and put on a colourful bedsheet monthly. :) main my sleeping-mood time.
I enjoyed myself in Perlis. yes, i do!
I met three friendly-that-cheer-up-my-days friends, they are superb!

I am missing my home, my mom and my baba ;'(
I am on my way, learning how to be friendly, always be positive, avoid scolding people.haha

I do not mess up myself with boys things. Means, I do not have any emotional problem.
Speak much on positive and good things.
Forgive and forget. Treats people equally.

Wanna shop as much tee (short sleeve and long sleeve)* as i can, and if my MONEY allowed me to do so.

Try to add more LOVE on kids.

I do not read much on current issues, and no wonder i am now became a soo-yesterday person .
I just got to know about BERSIH on the day they, BERSIH people, launched their impossible missions.
Few days before, i just ignore everything. But this is ezzah. I do not want people to leave me behind.
i will spend just a few more mins to google around what is BERSIH really means to me.

Now music becomes my minor subject. OMG. and fyi, learning this subject is harder than making calculation in additional math. This is true =.= trust me. You have to spend a lot of money on pricey musical instruments.haha if you can buy a keyboard with price below than ONE THOUSANDS YMR, and it has complete functions, i will give a high salute to you.

Electoral reform :)

2011-07-10T14:24:00.001+09:00

and if i am into BERSIH 2.0, i will give a full support on one out of their eight main points :
free and fair access to media.

it is no secret that the Malaysian mainstream media fails to practice fair and objective reporting for political parties of all divide.

Please. to all Malaysian mainstream media, please allocate proportionate and objective coverage for all political parties.

Adaptation

2011-06-26T15:38:00.004+09:00

IPG Perlis . I have reached safely in ipg perlis and had successfully finished my orientation week.
In simple, the orientation is sucks. I did not washed my attire for four whole days. I just have a pair of kurung putih hitam, i have to wear this kurung for their daily activities. Busuk? hahah tak lah.

I had been "punished" "forced" and "pushed" and everything.

Such a nice unforgettable moment when one announced my name and asked me to come in front, they accused me as the person who made a phone call to their parents and give few bad comments about the activities during my orientation days and all . haha i was like : WHAT ? WHAT THE HELLL is this ???? hahah

and think back, i have been in the same situation few years ago. and i knew what they had planned for me. haha
something like birthday prank or something like WAKENABEB!

and thats the reason i give a very selamba chill cool tahap cipan expression when it came to my turn to admit my mistake, i just said, no and no. just a very simple answer to their question or orders : just NO. haha.

and lastly, light off, asked others to close their eyes, and birthday cake with the candles on came.
Birthday celebration! haha ! i was like . emm dah agak daa. i am right :) :)

I am happy. If not, i will try to pretend to be a happy person, then may the real happiness comes to me.

Happy birthday to iqa chan too ! i have to highlight this part.

After all, perlis is not that bad. The weather is totally hot and i do not want to write on their absofuckinglutely strict rules. May i am not the one who becomes the very first girl-student who breaks the rules. Na'uzubillah.

Relationship ? erk, i am not interested to give a comment on this part.
I just pray : may someday, there;s someone who can guide me to be a better person comes to me. and take a good care of my heart. Handle it very very well.

Not ezzah in this way.
I wanna change. Changing in the way and in the process of growing up.

To change people, I first must have to change. :) Thats the rule.
Bye world!

2011-06-17T21:53:00.001+09:00

Some things are better left unsaid.

I do not speak much like I always did for the last few days. No reasons why.
I just kept everything, bad things, angers, hatred or whatever it is deep inside my heart.
I do not reply text,
I do not pick up calls,
I am not going to unlock the door, if someone knocked it to ask my permission to enter my room.
I just listened to the knocking, like there is nothing happen. I was too rude.

and i enjoyed my sleeping time for more than eight hours. Typically me when i got into a depression phase.

It is hard to explain.

People do not listen to me. They do not even care about my feelings.
That is why i put everything and threw them deep inside my soul, and keep quiet.
You never even knew about the heartache.

Some things are better left unsaid.

Reminisced .

2011-06-15T04:44:00.007+09:00

A friend paid her sorry just now. For doing a bad talk on me when we were in Gopeng few months ago. She was doing that for reasons.

She was one out of my twelve tutorialmates during my second semester in Gopeng.

The bad talks. were only on my characters. I skipped a lot of classes at that time. I was rude to people, wasted my tears all day long, added few more hours to my sleeping time, panadol actifast became my loyal best friend and a lot more stupid things had happened to me.

I did not submit my physics practical report once and i did not submit my mc letter to my chemistry practical lecturer or at least pay a visit to his cubicle, no, not even once.

great cons to my old-first-semester days. During that days, i had passed my chemistry quiz with full mark, i finished all my tutorial physics questions and i am doing all the good things that an excellent student should do to pass his or her exams with flying colors.

I had made a lot of mistakes i am not capable or deserve to give the real kemaafan to myself.
Its happened on the last few days before my first semester came to an end. And continued till the last day of my second semester class. I had ruined everything, I broke the promise i had made to myself.
em I had changed in simple.

Student-leave week gave some benefits to me as I had chance to do some corrections to my silly stupid life errors.

Insanity kills me.

Japanese saying : A flower falls even though we love it. and a weed grows even though we hate it.

and i had promised. --kill me if once again i broke the promise-- that i will not fall for a guy that i do not deserve to.

No more.

2011-06-13T02:58:00.008+09:00

June 12

I can officially put the number 9 to replace the double-circle-shape number.

if added one more number, my teen year is over.

I hope i can have a blast birthday for this year. Yes i thought i do have ones.

I got the offer from ipg which i kept it standstill stayed on my wish-list since last couple years,
my parents grinned on my achievements
and by the end of this 2011 year, i will put an ugly braces on my teeth.

Last but not least, i got a blackberry-look-alike-shape phone for my birthday. My parents did not afford to buy a blackberry for me. Itsoke. c3 nokia is more than enough for me. I love you, my umi and baba .

I have to be so grateful . Thank you Allah :D :D :D

like what ili said, senarai kesyukuran. This is my senarai kesyukuran.

This is my last-teen year to celebrate with friends and family *as i do not have a special one to celebrate with* and of course the year after i will begin to write my age with the number 2 in front and it sounds er tuaaa!

Thanks to those who had wished me either through my fb wall or text me or made a phone call.

I do appreciate your wishes.

May Allah showers you with lots lots of His blessings too.

and and and, a wish from a a a surprised me a bit this evening. He did not go for online about ages but he remember that today is my birthday. Yes, u do not have to spend a big amount of money on an expensive pricey things for my birthday prezy. Value the memories more than money. I do not ask for more. Thanks a a a .

and oso , thanks to my liitle-big-gedik sista, as she wished me and wrote my name on her latest post. haha

i have to highlight the part when she called me "budak agah" haha . jealous? this is what she did it to me like always.

and

for those

who had forgot that on june 12 nineteen years ago, i took my first breath, so called a world-breath,

its oke then.

i did not give u a damn. hehe :D :D

a birthday is just a very common day to me. till one wished me a happy birth-day.

when ?

2011-06-11T03:40:00.002+09:00

" technically i am single but my heart is taken by someone i cant call my own. "

i would like to say this once.

i am pathetic to know who will become the person that hold the key and unlock the path to my heart. haha.
pathetic like seriously. haha.

i know . someday.

i always pray for this :

Ya Rabb,
give me Your love ,
give me a love of a person that loves You,
and a love of anything or anyone that makes me close to You.
ameen.

2011-06-10T23:35:00.000+09:00

I remember fatin nabila once said, "muni tak penah cakap tak if mintak tolong ngan dia..'' and it is true.

June 09, aimuni became 19 yo.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY aimuni !

imy.

We love you beloved bigboss!

muni, hows turkey? souvenir banyak tak? hehe

I was afraid to fall again .

2011-06-04T19:48:00.007+09:00

This may become the reason why i am not into any relationship things.
I just read an article from my big brother website, he wrote this , and i think this is true.

Stepping into a new relationship is like walking on a narrow bridge – “batang pokok kelapa” if you like – crossing burning hot larva of volcano under you, not water.
At the end of journey is marriage.
If you’re not careful – do the forbidden – you’ll fall off the bridge. Yes, not into the water but into the burning larva. This is my own metaphor to describe a relationship before marriage – even if you’re officially engaged.
Engagement, too, is not a license. Sorry, your engagement ring is not big enough to hold “HALAL” label.

-ashraf sobli.

Dear ashraf sobli, my big brother.

2011-06-04T19:37:00.002+09:00

exxon mobil will accept your request very soon. I do pray for that.

Graduated from University of Bristol with first class in electrical engineering,
i think it makes things a lil bit easier :)

Have faith in Allah :D

Kungfu Panda first series : you must believe ;) -turtle master

Happy Birthday to both.

2011-06-04T01:25:00.002+09:00

June 3rd . Happy birthday to both !

First , lovely friend ever, amalina zakaria :) She helped me a lot throughout my old days in Gopeng and as rewards i taught her to not being soo nice. I taught her to stalk and gossip and all those bad habits. I am sorry. uhuk uhuk

* in white

The second one, hm.. fathi othman. Former lecture mate. F6. HB fathi! See you then in Perlis.

Hope everything goes well during your 19th phase. especially your lovelife story with your vice.

2011-06-04T00:05:00.004+09:00

Everyone was curious about my future , am i serious to become a teacher ?

At the age of 19 i should be sure about my future. Ashamed to be true if i do not have any ambition by this age. Yes. I had aimed something and i kept them till i really know my own abilities to achieve that goals.

Two weeks to go.

I will be in Perlis.
No refuse. I give a goddamn f*ck to KPM as they threw me into a non-benefits-and-really-strange place to me. But i know someday when i successfully graduated from ipg Perlis i will start to appreciate and realise that this place teach me loads of lessons in life. I have to be so grateful and I will try to survive.

I made up my mind that i am truly interested in counselling and i will go for this as my future career :)

Allah knows whats the best for us. and I believe in this.

...

Perlis , please i beg you to be nice to me. I have never been there before.
and to be true before i got an offer-text from KPM I do pray that i got an offer which is somewhere in Perak or KL, as it is easy for me to adapt with my social life. but in the end i have to settle down in Perlis.

Hey ezzah. Come on laa. chill la dude.

Recall back, i was not doing great during my interview session especially when it came to English part.
I begin to realise that speaking and talking in English is not as easy as i was doing in writing. I had lied when i had been asked to state two reasons why teaching becomes my first passion.

As i choose counselling as my major course i am not going to teach students on the blackboard or mark their exercise books or examination papers using a red pen. I am going to advice people, to guide my students to be a better person. To be in this way, i should have the skills. and of course I have to learn. Learn and learn. Keep learning.

No one knows if someday i become a very pelik person compare to the old me.
Talkative - open minded - friendly - and being nice
I have to highlight this : i had not changed, i just grew up :D

em. upu?
i just forgot about my upu after graduated from matriculation and after i got my final slip a day before i got an offer from KPM.
I will not consider any offer from upu. Keep stay in ipg Perlis :) yes. i am definitely sure about this. No argue.

Em. I think i should put a fullstop here. Till we meet again on the next post , em probably tomorrow. HAHA
Babai.

2011-06-02T18:48:00.008+09:00

Two more days left for me to finish my qada puasa and me cant wait to treat myself with delicious and scrumptious food and meals on my last day of fasting - overall total up i have nine days of qada puasa.
and for those muslims, tomorrow is our first day of Rejab :') Lets collect as much pahala as we can!
After Rejab, Syaaban comes and next, of course the holy month, Ramadhan. whoo. Time flies so fast isnt?

and yeah HARI RAYA comes. The different for this upcoming hari raya is only on the second day whereas i will spend a great unforgettable time with my old friends. We will reunite back after we had split off for about a couple of years. The last time we had met up was on April 2010. whoa. I miss my big boss, aimuni, and her anak buah like seriously.

biskut raya (^-^)v

Aimi'd promised to treat us with great meals which include her famous baked macaroni and they are all for free. AHA. This is hari raya. and this is an open house. You do not have to pay for any single bite of food that u had on that day. and this is great for me and for you friends.

For those who cant come back to celebrate Hari Raya with relatives and friends in Malaysia this year, ehee, itsoke. Maybe next time ye sygss :')

2011-05-31T16:23:00.000+09:00

Currently in love with lil cute owls , ohemmmjay! and their eyes; could not kept my eyes off them seriously.
can i adopt a lil owl as my pet? haha =.='

see ? comel kan?

A not-so-pretty-but-cool present for my upcoming birthday.

2011-05-28T03:09:00.001+09:00

I got this. Total up now i have 3 handphones. The value of love counts not the price :)
Thanks :D thanks a lot. haha

Thanks again :D

Kalau dah jodoh tak ke mana.

2011-05-28T02:21:00.005+09:00

Afternoon, chat a bit with dhiya sabila- used to call her bee, my former classmate since i was in form 1. She is currently in Lembah Beringin, preparation to further her study in United Kingdom this September 25. I was actually not in the motion of skypo with her but haha her latest picture with her boyfie that dragged teacher nadhihani's attention to give a comment on that picture gimme some ideas to poke Bee.

and bee asked me about my latest boyfie, haha . I am single. as i expected, she wont believed this. haha
I give up, totally give up. High-taste person, jual mahal, bad character, just named it :)

I just live my life to the fullest. I am happy and to remind this is not a fake happiness, this is real :)
and if u were one of my former classmates, typical replies when u asked me about my boyfie, i am waiting for aimuni to have a special boyfriend, and i will consider it then. Yes, aimuni is super duper nice and sopan santun, one who becomes her boyfriend must be the perfect one. Aimuni suci just like fatin and aimi. haha.

or i will reply this : Tulang rusuk tak akan tertukar, the right one will suit me well :)

Bukan tak nak tapi tak jumpa lagi . Get it?

I had not changed, i just grew up :)
Kalau dah jodoh tak ke mana kan?

2011-05-24T01:24:00.000+09:00

I almost give up doing things that are out of my expectation seriously. I had tried so fucking hard and and frankly speaking i had never reach this level. The highest one so far. Patiently and desperately doing my google search, refer to the maps, added friends and seniors from ipg perlis just to get a lil bit info how many ways do i have to reach alor setar airport.

I cannot accept the fact I have to stay in Perlis for the next five years. =.= stupid me.

I feel like i wanna cry out loud T.T but seems nobody cares about me. I had troubled myself seriously just to make a person happy and if still he cannot even smile with this fucking effort, i think it is easier for me to stab him using a usual kitchen knife. RIP.

*sigh.

and yes, this is true.

2011-05-20T22:42:00.002+09:00

I found this blog abangraja.blogspot.com which is quite interesting to read ,

pay a visit and u can grab something useful there to motivate yourself.

He came to my school when i was in form five and gave a usual motivation talk.

Abang raja is a super-duper-cool (handsome? er maybe haha. Take it as a compliment abang raja :) ) motivator i had ever met and he truly got the skills to attract us.

and I remember words that're quite familiar to him: orang dah berjaya, kite kite?

Er, dearest abang raja, this is absolutely true huhu :)

Every New Semester:

After First Week:

After Second Week:

Before the Mid-Term Test:

During the Mid-Term Test:

After the Mid-Term Test:

Before the Final Exams:

Once Get to Know the Final Exam Schedule:

7 Days Before the Final Exam:

6 Days Before the Final Exam:

5 Days Before the Final Exam:

4 Days Before the Final Exam:

3 Days Before the Final Exam:

2 Days Before the Final Exam:

1 Day Before the Final Exam:

The Night Before the Final Exam:

1 Hour Before the Final Exam:

During the Final Exam:

Once Walk Out From the Examination Hall:

After the Final Exam, During the Holiday:

2011-05-19T21:24:00.001+09:00

(2:216) Boleh jadi kamu tidak menyenangi sesuatu, padahal itu baik bagimu dan boleh jadi kamu menyukai sesuatu padahal itu tidak baik bagimu. Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.

:) Have faith in Allah.

2011-05-19T04:34:00.001+09:00

You have to learn the rules of the game, and you have to play better than anyone else.
But this time, i am not good at it. I became the real LOSER. yes, call me a loser.
And for me, it was fucking hell sad to see their expressions and still in the hope I could change it.

I will change it. yes.

albert einstein's famous quote : it is not i am so smart, it is just that i stay with problems longer.

I wanna try to make everything as simple as possible.
ever tried - ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better. yes.
-ezzah sobli

2011-05-19T03:57:00.000+09:00

source : street-jeans

2011-05-17T20:21:00.000+09:00

Whatever you fear, you must face.
Have faith in Allah for He had determined the best for you.

:')

Grow up young lady

2011-05-15T02:07:00.016+09:00

Yes, the old me, i do stalk people and follow through the details about him or her
but when it comes to a new me, i do not er to be more exact i rarely stalk and i did it when it is really in need.

Yes, if you are one of my close friends, you will know me better. Much better.

When the phrase "i want to know about this person much detail" just came out from me, i can say not more than 24hours i am able to give each and every inch information about that person. haha
I do the stalker "job" very well. Excellent in simple.

But now. I give up doing that job. Me, no longer stalk people. No reason why.
If there is one and only reason that i have to state : it is just for the reason this job will trouble me lots, drive myself into more difficult situations. Thats all. No more.

But i will never stop reading blogs and doing my usual blogwalking, i am not a stalker but i just love to read :) haha

Just now, i read a blog which belongs to my 'friend' -not a friend to be true but i will officially and get used to call a stranger that i have met as a friend. haha

She knows me and i know her. But i never had another sense to be friendly with her, not even once or even chat a bit. haha
If there is only one thing that could possibly come between us; a guy.

The guy that broke her heart, torn her inside, did the same thing to me. But for me, i just left all what he had done to karma. Let the karma judge. I took a quite long periods to get over him. I can say it is a very long long trip to go through and it is not easy to get over these. I have to control my emotions, i failed chemistry paper, the Hal Ehwal Pelajar had made a few calls for a motivation talk, and more. and I think i have to highlight the part when i have to meet the college director. Stupid stupid me. haha but it is quite fun. oke then when in the end, i get back my strength and i throw him miles away from me. But if he really comes back one day, i had promised not to fall for him for another time. Enough is enough.

The girl that I had mentioned she JUST cannot forget about him. I do not understand the part when she said he is just so special to forget, er something like that. But mark the word 'special'.
Shut the fuck up lah girl. You do not get the lesson and learn from that. Take only one second and learn. LEARN. You had experienced first before i do. You waste your tears on a guy that you do not deserved to.

Get a life lah girl.

Your new entry, you relate everything to your love life story. When one gives a criticism to you, you have to take it as a positive enzyme to boost yourself ahead. Not just give a quick punishment to that person. and proud to say that person is also my friend. a close friend of mine.

Just my piece of mind : grow up young lady :)

2011-05-12T01:29:00.002+09:00

She taught me that the chicken is 'manok' and 'pusak' is a cat in her language. so weird to be true.
She is nice. She impressed me on my first day at KMPK.

At first i thought u are not Malay er -someone with the Chinese plus Indian blood to be honest. haha
Your expression and skin color and bla bla do not give any sign that u are a Malay girl. hehe.

We sat in the same class in semester one, and on the same table during chemistry practical periods.

Ummi Khalthom Usaini

Happy 19th Birthday sayang :D

Hope everything goes well during your 19th phase.

Love you mucccchhhhhhhhh :)

Come back big bro :')

2011-05-12T00:10:00.004+09:00

I have read my big bro's website and his current status on fb just now. He is pretty lonely at the moment. :'(
As being your lil sista, i am pity with you. Mega pity. Please big bro, it seems to be impossible for you to read my writing here, impossible for you to be one of those blogwalkers out there and catch me here.
But please. I beg u to put your ego aside. Come back to your hometown. Live your life like a normal person, like me :') Everyone is missing you. Like hell.

To be honest, I have never meet him since three years ago :') God only knows how much I miss him.

We are here to listen to you. Hell or high you are right now, keep strong my big bro ashraf! Never give up!
we love you, no matter what!

seriously me, cannot wait to listen to his hundreds of stories- is not he manage to get his six pack back, er what else, how many girls did he flirted around, haha and more! i miss your stories so badly :'(

2011-05-09T09:32:00.000+09:00

Er the feeling that i had last night was so weird. I miss him. yes he, the one who i named him as a,a,a. haha
again, i became a stupid person -it is on purpose.

sorry.

i kept your piggy doll. it is a pig. not a bear. i lied that it was a bear. haha.

ignore my grammar errors.

2011-05-08T19:24:00.008+09:00

I am the one who watched her walked into my clumsy dorm with her mom on her first day at our hostel. At that time, being very typically me, i skipped my preparation class. haha. I wore yellow tee wrapped my hair with a dull towel -er seems to give respect to my visitors actually. After introducing herself , i gave her some space to unpack things that she brought along. When i was sitting on my bed, i heard to her mom saying that she was in hurry, need to go back for what reason i did not remember. haha

She got a dull wooden small locker further away from her bed, haha and of course this gave me and everyone chances to keep looking at her changed her outfits. haha just kidding. but why not once aite? again - jk

We and the rest of the dorm members slept on a double decker bed and of course she is my partner. Bless her. She is too small for me but never when we go for cleverness.

This is the story of her.

We sat on the same class since form 2 till form 4.
Form 2
she sat beside Saadah. and i sat beside imtinan and on my right, aimi syahirah. haha
I remember once when our beloved ustaz omar asked to search a meaning of one word. She, at that time, was using an electronic dictionary- yes always one step further than the rest of us- and ustaz seems to feel so weird with her action for the reason me and the others were using a dull dictionary book. and suddenly he came out with "ada jugak orang guna kalkulator cari maksud perkataan." hahaha loud of laugh.

Form 3
she became one of the back benches in class with aimi and yeng. triple seats at the back. haha
she is cool. she is nice. and she is clever in simple. and in form 3, cikgu mat zin was our beloved teacher. He taught geoghraphy. He wore the same outfits for two days and he changed it on tuesday which is on the third day if only u noticed that. me and her were in the same society, science society and briged bakti. haha we gossips a lot, er usually with aimi also, annoyed with sissy sissy who became the leaders and did not know how to handle their duties. haha and bla bla time flies so fast.

Form 4.
and now we are in form 4: senior and honeymoon year. I remember it was in library when she told me that she will leave me and the rest for her new boarding school. She got an offer from sbpi batu rakit. I thought she might be lying for the reason when i get used to see her, talk to her everyday , seems to be er unbelievable! but its oke. she gave me a note with friendship words, printed out, very nice and i kept that note till the day i wrote this story. She left us.

i had spent few times lepaking with her and the other members after spm. and i can say the experiences were joyable moments ever!

and she is my Ili Nasiha Azni Shah :D

she is now in the motion grabbing her chance to further her study in canada. ganbatte sayang!
i love you and i miss you,
that is no word can express how much both feelings i had towards u.

ganbatte kudasai!
and of course, jaga si dia elok elok :) break your heart, 'will kick his ass.
see you at aimi's place on the second day of hari raya :)

2011-05-07T16:11:00.005+09:00

and this is true :

how many ex-es do you need to realise that most of the love stories are a short story ?

Ripcurl - Can u just stay away from me?

2011-05-06T02:09:00.000+09:00

2011-05-06T01:18:00.000+09:00

Catch me on my new website

ezzah sobli's

hehe

That girl.

2011-05-04T03:32:00.000+09:00

There is only one girl that attracts me when i was in kmpk - attracts in the aspect of how she actually lived her life. I could not mention her name. I just got to know a lil bit about her last night and added her into my friends list. She obviously reminds me to my old schoolmates and few of my old classmates. She is nice and top first level intelligent in simple.

She went to mosque for zuhur, maghrib and isya then. yes, frankly speaking, i cay say those few girls who performed their solat at mosque when i was in that gloomy college-with big social problems- are perfect. She is one out of those girls. and she is perfect. She got 4.0 for triple exams -midsem1 finalsem1 midsem2- and and i can bet that for final sem2 she will pass with flying colors, which means the same number will be printed out on her slip just the same as what she got for the last triple exams.

People get used to call her "awek budak cina" and everyone seems to be so confused, is that chinese guy already convert to Islam or not. haha.

i am weird

2011-05-03T03:48:00.005+09:00

if only you can total up my pocket money - yes the amount is closed to zero. haha and me totally do not craving for any jobs to support my shopping bills and etc etc . i just love to spend every single second at home watching movies dramas having lovely mom's cooks for dinner or lunch -seems to be a nice and perfect life!

i just follow in my sister on her way back to my kampung this evening and i was having my first ever rojak pesumbo. haha one thing that had made the rojak tasted so great is the kuah. haha big thanks to my lovely aunt. and i am coming to your place again this thursday. i just cannot wait for that! :p

i have nothing more to write.

and
my sister with her new daughter, which is my first niece will go back to KL. no matter how hard it is to say babai to both, i will try not to burst into tears tomorrow. i love you nuur zahirah :) u have the sense of becoming a comel and beatiful girl and you take it from me. hehe

oke baibai world!
goodnite! sd.

2011-05-01T23:19:00.000+09:00

- Pay a visit to ....'s place before his flight to Japan. Yes.

p/s :

hey you, i had not changed much since u left me alone. em i just grew up a lil bit. hehe.

i will never love you more lah.

thanks for always being there -split off with my second crush, faced an upside down life and bla bla - thanks.

i love making friends with strangers.

2011-04-30T23:03:00.000+09:00

Please. Do keep in touch with me after added and put my name into your friends list.

Please. Do not ignore me. For at least, feel free to hit my wall.

It is such a great pleasure when u sent a request to become one of my friends.

and sorry. I had removed few names that I never ever notice of his/her existence. Sorry again.

Great desire.

2011-04-30T14:30:00.002+09:00

Craving for this =..= please. please. >........<

Compared to me : everything is nothing :)

2011-04-30T03:38:00.003+09:00

I am single. To be true, i am single. yes. Sorry. Honestly, i am single. yes.
mumble. haha.

I grinned at my friends listening to their lovelife stories and they mostly have a special boyfriend. Hehe.

Just a minute, give me a space to take my breath, live and enjoy every single second of being single. yes, the old pain had been healed. yes, now i am happy. Totally.

I messed up myself for about 3years with relationship things. Haha. and an upside down life in simple.

Being single is actually much much better than being in a broken relationship - Fadzillah Muhammad.

I will never love you more - soko.

2011-04-30T03:18:00.002+09:00

It gives a great impression to everyone, em shock to be true, when i am introducing myself as 'anak ustaz' haha.

Yes. When people are asking me what is your father and i replied, ustaz. O.O They seem to be: wah! haha
They judge me through the outside, not me in the inside. Its oke. Thats the real me.
The way I dressed up myself do not give any sign that I am a daughter to an ustaz. haha.

This is me. and proud to be me. HEHE.

My father did not tell me how to live;
he LIVED,
and let me watch him do it.

Is it true? yes.

2011-04-28T08:44:00.000+09:00

A place that i really adore to be there

this supposed to be here

and here :(

2011-04-22T14:55:00.002+09:00

I just finished my one year matriculation phase. And it is a wonderful experience ever. I met a lot of people, I make friends, I do this and this, all in one whole year.

I am weird. Because I just like to say good bye.

Special thanks to BOTAK because he had lent his hands to pick all my stuff from hostel to pondok pakguard. I cant do all by myself : and he is being there to help me. Thanks saiful. Thanks a lot. Convey my regards to your girlfie: should be thankful to have such a nice guy like you.

Totally pancit.

em.

There're a few wishes that I had already managed to make 'em true :
- an overnight at Miss Umi's place.
- lepak, play the TRUE and DARE at anjung
- served ainina the best Milo ais ever, and servings at cafe B1 have made it. haha
- go and see my idol : sir wan.
- exchange my student's card with him haha. he asked me to do that. and
no reason to refuse.
- reach home safely.
- having a nice sleep during my last trip from Perak to Kelantan
(novomind tablet helps me a lot).

Wan Muhammad Saufi, I get used to call him opie HOT, just posted on my fb's wall,
piece of his advice "not to skip any class when I get into uni" muahaha
He is a super duper cool man. He skips a lot of classes, tutorials, haha
but still he can give a cool chill expression when he is asked to give reasons of his absence.
and I follow in his footsteps. Thanks opie.

Minus few weeks and days, three hundred and sixty five days at Gopeng draw many wonderful stories.
Priceless.

-ezzah sobli